Want your team to achieve Olympic-level performance? Make time to connect.

In the moments prior to their final performance at the Olympic Games, Scott Moir and Tessa Virtue, the most decorated figure skaters of all time, lingered rink-side, hugging. Their closed-eye, tight embrace lasted for what seemed like minutes. They appeared to be in a serene state, totally connected, and protected from the prying gaze of the spectators and cameras.

It was their pre-performance ritual. Most top athletes have them.

In fact, just a few moments earlier, the ice dance silver medallists from France stood staring into each other’s eyes for a long period prior to their own performance.

These pre-competition rituals often come in the form of handshakes, chants, huddles, and dances. When looked upon from the perspective of a spectator they may seem mysterious or even a little goofy, but they serve a vital purpose.

They are all-important acts of human connection in moments that are rife with emotional, mental, physical and environmental distractions. Through these points of connection, the individual athlete looks away from the scoreboard, pushes away a wave of nerves, and checks in with their teammates. This practice is as crucial to the eventual performance on the field of play as any other aspect of the preparation.

My 2000 Olympic Games Synchronized Swimming team had its own pragmatic ritual. After we completed our planned warm up, we would gather together in a tight huddle to review our areas of focus for our routine performance. We stared one another in the eyes to ensure everyone was fully “checked in.” These were moments of mental calm, and a reassuring reminder that we were in it together.

Pre-performance rituals are practiced widely and intentionally in the sport world. They could be explored more purposefully in the business world and other venues in order to better connect, reduce distraction and focus more effectively on performance.

For teams eager to venture down the path of establishing pre-performance practices, here are a couple of suggestions:

1. Make it your own. Someone else’s secret handshake might not feel right for your team. Find a connection point that works for the unique nature of your group. It’s possible that it will feel awkward the first few times you try it, but keep honing it and making it work for you.

2. Keep it fresh. “1,2,3…Team!” mumbled half-heartedly while glancing at an iPhone is a waste of time. Avoid getting to the point where your team simply goes through the motions. These practices only work when individuals are invested in them, meaningfully connect with each other, and buy into the act’s pragmatic purpose. Change it up and reinforce its purpose and importance from time to time.

The bottom line is that the best teams in the sport world engage in these acts of connection before every game or performance. If your team members take that extra moment before the big presentation or pitch, to stop, look one another in the face and see each-other as human, as being in this together (whatever this may be), your team may be more likely to reach Olympic heights.

Every Olympian Excels at Failure

“Failure is a key stepping stone to self-development and success.”

Every time the Olympic, Paralympic or Commonwealth Games come around people across the globe tune in to watch athletes perform incredible physical feats with astounding precision or creativity or speed or strength. We cheer loudest as our fellow patriots climb the podium. What we might forget in that triumphal moment is that those athletes arrived at that spot partly because they learned how to fail well.

One of the top professional and Olympic doubles tennis players in the world once told me that two-thirds of his sporting career had been all about losing, and only one-third winning. During our conversation, he didn’t seem overly regretful about it – and he certainly didn’t shy away from using the term failure. He said, “Over the years I have won many games, but I’ve lost more, and each time I am determined to learn something…to get even better through those losses.” He didn’t sugar coat the experience either. He talked about how much it “truly sucks” to lose, how painful it can be, and how hard it is to force yourself to learn from failure, then emphasized how essential it is to do so.

High performance athletes are the masters of courageously looking failure in the face and using it as fuel.

When my kids learned how to play hockey, one of the first skills they learned was how to fall. They spent a portion of their practices diving headlong onto that cold, hard surface, and then jumping back onto their skates as fast as they could. Due to this repeated lesson they are less afraid to enter the play, more willing to fight for the puck – to push themselves a little harder and try new moves. Because, really, what’s the worse that could happen? They might fall... and they're already well drilled on how to get up quickly.

The fear of failing – of falling, of trying something new, of diving headlong into something difficult, is what holds so many of us back.

Here's how we can start to practice failing well:

First, let’s get out of our comfort zone more often. As adults, we need to find ways to practice skills that push us beyond our status quo, so that we can master discomfort, as well as the art of making mistakes and recovering from them.

Second, we need to make time for reflection and analysis. When my Olympic synchronized swimming team choreographed our free-program we added in a lift that had never been attempted before. It was technically tricky, extremely heavy, hard to balance, and placed at a late point in the routine when our energy reserves were nearly empty. The lift failed seventy percent of the time leading up to the 2000 Games, but each time it fell, we allowed for a short moment to grunt in frustration, then calmly analyze what went wrong, and develop a new strategy for the next attempt. Every time it worked, we stopped to discuss what we had done well and how we could encapsulate that success. We systematically faced failure that way, until the percentage of failure steadily decreased. When we performed our program at the Games, that lift was a massive success – a favorite with the crowd and the judges.

If we are serious about reaching our potential in any discipline or field, we need to make space to practice failing well, remembering all the while that the fall itself doesn’t matter as much as whether or not we get up. 

As Maple As: Claire in conversation with Ron MacLean

Decorated synchronized swimmer, Claire Carver-Dias, discusses with Ron MacLean the importance of community and strong networks for younger Canadian athletes and how she discovered the more artistic -- and emotional -- side of competitive swimming.

As Maple As with Ron MacLean: Claire Carver Dias

The Value of Community: Cultivating a “Zoom Out” Mindset in the Age of the Selfie

This is dedicated to my community. You know who you are. 

A few months ago I was asked if I would deliver the University of Toronto (Mississauga) Last Lecture to a large group of graduating students. Modelled after the tradition Randy Pausch made popular in 2008, the last lecture is meant to be an occasion where a specially chosen lecturer shares meaningful advice as though the address was their last message to the world. No pressure, right?

After happily accepting the invitation to participate, I spent the next few weeks labouring over what to talk about. I mean, really, what piece of spectacular wisdom could I impart to a large group of twenty-somethings on the cusp of their post-school journey?  

I played around with a few potential topics, but nothing was urgent enough. Then I turned to my beloved community. Reaching out through email, dinner table conversations, phone calls, and Facebook, I asked my connections for their advice.  

They came through. I received plenty of guidance–one friend even collected ideas from her daughter and several of her daughter’s friends (thanks, Mary!). I was buzzing with gratitude for my friends who joined with me in this exciting project. The task seemed much less daunting once I had that precious support of my network.  

 And that’s when the final concept was born: I needed to talk about the value of community.

 I truly believe that authentic human connection is at the core of every great community, and great community is at the core of every great achievement.

As a tribute to all of the wonderful friends, colleagues and family members who ‘people’ my days, make grief manageable, faith possible, life richer, and joy deeper, I crafted a message that urged the graduates to think beyond themselves.

The Water Cooler Effect: Make space for your next big idea

Sometimes old-fashioned discipline, status quo and routine get in the way of innovation and creativity. Claire shares ideas about how to make space for your next big idea. 

Make space for your next big idea

Claire Carver-Dias

The Water Cooler Effect: Work doesn't have to feel like high school

Is your workplace just like high school all over again? Are there in-crowds and out-crowds? Secret coffee runs and favourite employees? In this episode, TWCE host Claire Carver-Dias talks with mental health counsellor Alison Buchan about fostering a sense of authenticity and belonging at work.

Work doesn't have to feel like high school - Authenticity @ the office w/Alison Buchan

Claire Carver-Dias

Nail Your Next Emcee Gig

To be a great emcee you need to employ all of the presentation skills you’ve learned over the years: projection of your voice, poise, and body language that suits the content of your script and mood of the event. But you also need to remember that you’re not the star of the show. Your job is to serve as host, set the mood, highlight the other speakers or performers, and keep the program rolling along.

Here are just a few quick tips to help you prepare for your next emcee role:

• Find out as much as you can about the event and what the client wants: Whether you’re emceeing a wedding reception, an awards ceremony, a press conference or a corporate event, you need to understand the expectations of the person who requested your services. What atmosphere do they hope you’ll help foster? What is the purpose of the event? Who will be in attendance? Will the client be giving you a detailed script or simply an order of service/event overview? Gather as much information as you can before you start your preparation.
• If it’s a scripted event, try to get the script as far ahead of time as possible. Go through it and make clarifications with the client. Find out how to pronounce unfamiliar names or terms, and write them out phonetically on your script. Read it aloud, and adjust the wording (if permitted) in subtle ways so that it sounds natural to you.
• Share something about yourself. Depending on the expectations of the client, add in a short personal story or comments that are relevant to the event content. It may help break the ice and endear the audience to you (e.g. “I remember when I first saw road cycling…watching the Tour de France on television with my mom and admiring the athletes’ endurance and strength. Well, we are fortunate to have a former Tour de France athlete with us today…join me in welcoming John Smith!”).
• If time allows, find a way to acknowledge the previous speaker or performance. Summarize one or two key points from their presentation or share your admiration for a special move they’ve made.  Take notes while you’re listening or watching, so it’s easy to summarize or comment.
• Try to find creative ways to link the speeches or performances. You can do this by pointing out common themes in the content they’ve shared, or, if you’re able, develop clever segues that smoothly move from one portion of the agenda to the next.
• Watch the clock. If things are running late, cut unnecessary chatter in between agenda items. Sometimes the proceedings move much more quickly than expected. Be sure to arrive with a backup plan (that you’ve cleared with the client) to fill in the time (e.g. a quick interview with someone, a short break in the program, a musical interlude, etc).

This is by no means a comprehensive list of emcee tips, but a basic start. Just like any other skill, emceeing takes practice. If you make a misstep, cut yourself some slack. Every event has its bumps and surprises. With experience and time, you’ll find yourself better able to enjoy the event itself. After all, emcees often have the best seat in the house.

Are You Breathing? Tips For Fast Talkers

HAVE YOU BEEN DESCRIBED AS A FAST-TALKER? AS YOU SPEAK, DO YOU FEEL YOUR FACE FLUSH, YOUR SHOULDERS RISE, YOUR ANXIETY BUILD?

Sometimes what we call ‘fast-talking’ is simply the result of a person not stopping and breathing frequently enough. Think of speech in grammatical terms. Breathing is the necessary punctuation. In speech, well-placed pauses for breaths are the exclamation marks, commas, periods, and question marks that help organize thought, communicate specific meaning, and indicate tone or emphasis. A written story without punctuation might confuse and irritate a reader. That’s exactly what un-punctuated, breathless speaking can do to a listener!

Here are some tips to insert breathing (as punctuation) in your speech:

• Consciously pause to take a breath before answering a question (this will give you a moment to consider your response and indicate thoughtfulness).
• Stop to breathe between ideas.
• Before a speech/presentation, stand tall and practice inhaling and exhaling deeply to get into a good rhythm prior to launching into your introduction. Singers understand that breathing is essential to strong vocal projection and performance. They practice breathing techniques to optimize tone, volume and power. They also emphasize good posture. Practicing confident posture and breathing should be a natural part of public speaking rehearsal and warm up. Watch Amy Cuddy’s TED Talk to learn more about how body language affects our confidence and performance, as well as others’ perception of us: http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are?language=en.
• Do a quick breathing check at your next meeting. Right after you say something, verify whether your shoulders are raised or tight. If they are, that could be an indication that you are not breathing enough, or too shallowly. Drop your shoulders, sit up, and try to push your breaths down into your belly (versus chest breathing).
• Watch your audience. Are they staring at you with furrowed brows, appearing confused or anxious? If so, pause, breathe and continue with a slower pace. In more intimate meetings, you could ask them a question and leave space for their response.

It may take time and practice to consistently breathe more deeply and calmly when you speak, but it’s an investment that will pay off. There is a connection between clear thinking and breathing (your brain needs oxygen!), so learning to breathe properly while you speak should positively affect more than just the way you sound, it should help promote sound on-the-spot thinking. That alone is worth the effort.

Speaking At A Funeral: It's All About Sincerity and Prep

Recently, a client asked for advice on how to prepare to speak at the funeral of a close friend. His question got me reflecting on all the times I’ve attended ‘celebrations of life,’ funerals, and memorial services, and how apparently difficult it is to speak publicly on those occasions. Based on my observations, here are the few tips I offered the client:

• Start your preparation by deciding what it is that you want to get across about the life of your friend. Write down some general adjectives or qualities you would use to describe them (e.g. Vivacious, goofy, generous…whatever is appropriate).
• Then think of stories that illustrate those qualities.
• Make it general enough (so other people can relate), but also personal (so that the stories carry the emotional weight they should).
• Write it all down, and read it through several times. You never know how the emotion of this kind of moment/occasion will affect you. Have the paper up at the pulpit/podium with you. Ignore every piece advice you’ve ever heard about not reading your speech. Feel free to read your speech, if that seems best. At one funeral I attended, the individual delivering the eulogy had prepared a beautiful speech but had to stop halfway through because his emotion overwhelmed him. After a moment break, he opened up his written speech and read the rest. It was just as moving and meaningful as it would have been had he spoken without notes.
• Cry if you need to. People will wait, and cry with you.

Most of all, as you prepare your funeral address, be honest and sincere. It is a great honour to be able to pay public tribute to a friend.